Shear Terror

• Jane, I'm going to give you a haircut today.
• Mama! (Eyes wide) I'sa girl. I don't gets haircuts!
• Honey, everybody get haircuts. Mommy gets haircuts, Grammy gets haircuts, Gramps gets haircuts ...
• No he don't (giggle, giggle), Gramps don't have no hair!
• Well, you're right. He just has a little to cut, doesn't he? We'll just cut a little of yours, too.

(20 minutes later, sitting in front of the mirror, my haircutting shears poised and ready...)
• Wait! Mama ... please don't make me look like Gramps.